Time for Changes

I’ve been mulling over what to do with my boxes and boxes of moments captured from decades of magazines.

I have decided to feed those moments of inspiration and fantasy and whimsy to this blog.

So, once I get my scanning underway (SO much scanning)…

I’m going to start sharing the images and words that have stood out to me from all those years of magazines – Elle, Vogue, Glamour, Harper’s Bazaar, People, US, and even catalogues.

So I hope someone out there finds them and enjoys them. I’m already enjoying the flashbacks from flipping through all my cut outs!

RHONY!

They’re back!

HURRAY!

I love the Real Housewives franchise on Bravo!, and the New York cast was definitely a top favorite. I wasn’t a fan of the last season or two, when Jill Zarin, Bethanny, and Luann kind of disappeared.

But they’re back! I’m watching tonight, and LuAnn really looks fantastic. I’m thrilled she’s back – sh offered interesting perspectives on things, plus the great Countess-ness. The preview for the season implies she may have gotten a little raunchier since we last saw her.

And hello! Bethanny Frankel has returned. Glory and hallelujah! She should really shake things up. She’s gone through so much in the last couple of years, and I hope she’s not going to be a villain.

Better Call Saul

This week’s episod had a great point for discussion – White collar criminals facing 30 years, whereas rapists and murderers can face much shorter sentences.

What’s that about?

Personally, I think white collar criminals should be penalized financially. Dissolution of assets to reimburse the swindled, absolutely. Bankruptcy, probably. But yes – take away the money they’ve swindled!

But 30 years in jail for embezzlement? That seems absurd. Mainly when you consider that pople who kill people, or rape people, or pedophiles, or other violent criminals….can face much, much less time.

So….violent criminals should have more time in jail. Non-violent crimes should have less time in jail. I realize sexual crimes may not be considered ‘violent’, but they should be. Animal abuse should be considered a violent crime as well.

Anyhoo….there’s my controversial post for the week!

Walking Dead

I believe the reason Walking Dead is so popular is because people enjoy envisioning themselves in all of those “what if” scenarios that populate the show’s storyline.

Would you survive? Or how long do you think you’d survive?

What would be your weapon(s) of choice?  What do you actually have available, right now, in your home?

We have samurai swords, daggers, other weird knives. None are sharp, though. We also have guns. And a chainsaw. We’d have to sharpen the blades. We have at least one holster. We’d have to stock up on the ammo.

Would your family members make it with you?   Would you make it without your family members?

I’d like to think they’d survive with me. The baby child and husband would obviously be going with me to the refuge at my parents’ home. My parents’ place offers a lot more protection and refuge, just by its remoteness. The trick would be getting down there through the embattled I-95 that would be grid-locked. M has a crazy jacked up truck…but it would still get stuck in the traffic jams. Maybe we should keep that thing’s 50+ gallon tank loaded at all times…I also need to convince my parents to get solar panels. And we have MREs, thanks to M’s bizarre habit of obtaining things that normal people don’t live with.

In tonight’s episode, you suddenly realize how much Rick’s group has gone without …the things we take for granted. A razor blade to shave. A shower. A haircut. Not to mention running water. The smooth feel of a granite counterotp underneath your hands. A clean, dry, comfortable place to sleep. Or just to sit.

The baby, Lil’ Ass-kicker…growing up with no mom, no warm happy playtimes (that the show features, at least), no cuddly toys and fun finger foods. No playdates.

Carl, way too mature and hardened for his age.

Would you take the view Hershel and his family had, in the earlier days? That these are just ‘sick people’, not monsters? Would you immediately go into that full-fledged fight or flight mode?

Oscars, continued!

So I thought I was done with the Oscars notes…then I got the babychild to bed early and started googling again. Rejoice!

LOVE, love, LOVE Diane Kruger’s pantress. Dreants? Paness? Drents? Anywho, I’m convinced part of the reason this works so incredibly is because of the color. And the draping. And, of course, Ms. Kruger’s slim frame. Well done, Donna Karan!

People.com, D. Kruger

Case of the Ewwwww-ies from Christina Aguilera. Is she slipping back into that awkward Dirrrrrrty/Xxxtina phase? Her dress here looks like she has an unfortunate skin condition. Or like a Project Runway ‘abstract’ challenge where they had to use edible seams, and hers were made of whipped cream that withered away.

People.com, C Aguilera

Confused by Emma Stone’s afterparty dress. Was her afterparty in a library? At her grandmother’s home? Maybe it was 20’s themed – this would look lovely doing the Charleston.

People.com, E Stone

Oscars Roundup!

Dislike

Gwyneth Paltrow..boring, washed out. The sleeve screams 80s, and not in a good way. I will admit I am biased as I don’t particularly care for her in the first place, but I do believe she shines in darker shades that highlight her pale skin and hair. Why not a deep sapphire blue, or a burnt ruby?

People.com G Paltrow

Julianne Moore – I think she was trying to do something new? But again, she’s washed out. I also don’t like the embellishments on the dress, and the dress seems kind of shapeless overall.

People.com, J Moore

Overrated

Lupita Nygon’s dress really didnt do anything for me. I’m not sure why it’s being so raved over?

People.com, L. Nyongo

LOVE:

Rosamund Pike. Glamorous, gorgeous color, great styling.

Reese WIherspoon – a totally modern ake on My Fair Lady!

Cate Blanchett – cool, simple, sleek…but glamorous and a great pop of color. My only question would be whether this was too..simple for the Oscars.

Jessica Chastain – her navy and black combination reminds me of a dress Serena Van der Woodsen (Blake Lively) wears on gossip girl. A brilliant combination, with the perfect amount of sparkle.

‘zine queen

My younger self would be appalled to learn the truth.

That I, at the ripe age of 29, have completely failed to keep up with my magazines.

I grew up reading magazines. Reading them. Page to page, advertisements, little text boxes, every page of the articles. I devoured them.

I remember starting off with Redbook. Then Vanity Fair. Elle. Vogue. Good Housekeeping. People. T Magazine. W. National Geograpic. Forbes. The New Yorker.

I read my parents’ magazines when they were done skimming them. My brother had a subscription to National Geographic kids, and then Dad had National Geographic.

But once I started reading Elle, Vogue, Marie Claire, Cosmo, W….I was hooked on the advertisements. I kept my magazines. At one point, I had a bookshelf full of every Vogue and Elle for 10 years.

Then I realized I needed to pare down. “Who keeps old magazines?” I thought.

So I sat down one week with a trash can, scissors, and my stacks of magazines.

And I went through them, one by one, page by page. It was during a phase of my teenagehood where I was slightly hyper-focused on random things, so I got through it surprisingly quickly.  I cut out every advertisement, outfit, and headline phrases that appealed to me.

Then I kept going. Every magazine I got my hands on, I clipped for some unknown compulsion to store these beautiful images and ideas. I even clipped things from the Delia’s catalogue…

So eventually, when you cut things out, you wind up needing to put them somewhere. I organized my little treasures into collections and categories. The full page ads went in one shoebox, the words in another, then celebrities sorted by blonde, brunette, and other.  The non-person items were sorted into their own bo.

I couldn’t bring myself to do anything with them, for a long time. Then finally I went through and started using them for collages on random things, like the side of my little computer desk in my room. Or bedazzling my trash can with images of jewels – “One man’s trash is another’s treasure”, I chuckled wittily.

Then, last year…I cleared out my office/storage room for my baby child. All those boxes of images and words have moved with me from house to house, year after year. I occasionally add new things, but not half as much as I used to.

And I couldn’t do it. Could not part with them. So I have the boxes stacked in the closet, the binders full of images in the guest room bookshelf. And I still find myself dog-earing pages of magazines occasionally, or tearing out sheets that I will probably just wind up tossing away.

“I can do something with these,” I think occasionally. The Guess campaigns, the Etro spreads, the Ralph Lauren photo spreads. Or maybe I can use the headlines and phrases for inspiration to write novels or blogs.

Or maybe, some day, my daughter will rummage through the boxes and use them for her own sheer joy. Maybe I can sacrifice them for art projects and crafts. Maybe.

I think, perhaps, they represent some lost dreams and hopes, the ability to waste hours and days on these beautiful images and imagining the lifestyles I could live in them myself.

But for now, I’m content to hide my little treasures away in the closet…

Friends

I’ve been thinking a lot about friends and friendship so far this year.   banana

Last year, around New Year’s, I remember telling my husband I did not want any more friends. I meant it. I was pregnant, three of my friends were pregnant, and my ‘main’ social circle already consisted of 20-30 people. That means 20-30 people invited to all the main events, birthdays, etc.

M was mentioning a friend’s friend, who had a ‘rough year’ and I should make an effort to be her new friend. This was someone I’d known casually for years, who had never reached out to me, and was only a topic of conversation because of a friend accidentally invited her to my NYE party. I felt odd about saying that. It was true, but it seems like a terrible thing to admit. “No, I do not want any new friends.”

Now, here in 2015, I can look back at 2014 and realize I actually made several new friends who I really enjoy. One, E, is probably my favorite new friend. She’s single, has a medical-related job that involves travel, is stylish, smart, and always up for an adventure. If I wasn’t married, I would probably demand she be my BFF immediately!

So I am thankful that, even though I wasn’t looking for new friends I have in fact made some new ones.

And, in that same note, I am also …conflicted? about some old friends…

Back in high school, when I was being bullied (and basically prehistoric cyber-bullied, since the internet was still ‘new’), I decided to not pursue one-sided friendships. I reinforced that decision later in college, but added a dose of ‘Love the person for who they are’, meaning some people are worth the extra effort and truly don’t mean to be one-sided in friendships.

But where’s the line on effort? When do you give up? If a friend rejects your attempts to get together 10 times and never bothers to reschedule or get back to you or acknowledge the pattern of cancellations or ignoring…it’s clearly gone beyond the ‘absent-minded forgot to reply’ scenario. But what about the years of friendship, and the intensity the friendship once held? It seems like a tragedy to ‘throw away’ all those memories and adventures and good times. But are they being thrown away, or are they just…The Past now?

learn

I’m glad for the friends I have, in all their different forms. The ones I see every week, sometimes 2 or 3 times a week. The ones I see once a month, or every two months. Those I keep in touch with via email now that distance has separated us. The effort is on both sides, and I like to believe both sides are equally fond of the friendships.

Then there’s the new element of being a parent and watching my daughter grow up. She’s only 8 months old but I find myself wondering about her future. Will she struggle to make and keep friends? Will she be accepted or rejected by her peers? Is she going to become hardened or jaded in the ways that I did during my struggles as a lonely adolescent and young adult?

But

Do these shoes hide my wrinkles?

Time is a much discussed, frequently maligned, nostalgically reminisced, oft anthropomorphized being…

My child is approaching her first birthday.

I have been out of college for almost 8 years.

I have been out of high school for almost 12 years.

The last family pet that knew me in my ‘teens was recently put down.

Does this shirt show my grey hairs?

Do these shoes hide my wrinkles?

Saved by the Bell

My name is 4 letters away from being Kelly Kapowski. This makes me both happy, yet incredibly sad at the same time. I’m still a Kelly, and still an -owski…so close, yet so far away.

Saved by the Bell was a fantastic show. I think it ran a bit too long (the college years were just a disaster), but for kids on the edge of middle school and moving into that realm of puberty and first loves, it hits the spot.

Zach’s love for Kelly was always pure and simple at its core; he got into a lot of selfish schemes and made some risky moves, but he always came back to that love. Kelly, of course, was pure and innocent and a twee naive. She always believed the best of Zach until she couldn’t, she always gave second chances, and she was always happy and smiling.

I like to think I’ve become my own version of Ms. Kapowski – I am always smiley and cheerful, and patient and giving-of-chances with other people. I was a cheerleader (but have never been in a trio singing group prancing in spandex). I was not popular with the boys, but I did have a crush on a boy named Zach. I also did not have feathered bangs or a collection of neon – but I do have an impressive arsenal of neon now, and I have rocked a heavy bang once or twice in college.

I hope there’s still a few DVD sets around when I finally have kids on that cusp of puberty and excessive teen emotion/angst. The simple shows like Saved by the Bell, Wonder Years, Boy Meets World….they provide a really simple, truthful, and optimistic (but still honest) group of lessons about getting older and navigating a harsh world. I don’t know if they will still be relevant in another 18 years or so, since Zach’s amazing cellular phone is already way out of date, but I hope so.